Why I Feel Fired

Long time no post I know. I’ve been especially busy with life. This post comes by way of needing to somewhat vent and also to get back into the art of writing. School is going great with 16 more months to go. Work is crazy. Never thought when I wrote about interviewing for this job four years ago I’d feel like this today.

There has been many changes in our organization over the last year. Some good, some bizarre and some outright ridiculous. One of our organizational changes includes a new CEO so you know how that can be. Recently I found myself in a situation of feeling like I’ve been fired. Even though I now have more responsibilities/work it was not presented as an opportunity but more so like a punishment. I thought when and If I’d gotten to this point with this company it would certainly be by way of a being a shining star. I have not felt like a shinning star in a while. First, other duties were taken away that broke up the monotonous of the day, then our unit was pretty much excluded from all organizational activities. I’m sure there is a rhyme to the reason but it certainly did not work in my or a few of my other co-worker’s favor. This decision left a lot to be desired in a day’s work. But I got over that part, I just accepted it and kept my eyes on the prize. Which is finishing school and landing a job in my career of choice. Even though this job was never my “dream job” as the HR lady mentioned while discussing my write up, I never not looked for ways to develop valuable skills in my current position. Until recently I was able to do that. I was told “if you don’t like the changes that come with the job find another job”.  Too bad it’s not that easy but I have been looking.

Fast forward to my new duties and responsibilities. I have no issue with them only the manner in which they were assigned to me. I actually feel like an outcast and like I’ve been sent to the corner. I also feel like because of “my behavior” (as I was told) a burden has been placed on my co-workers at no fault of their own. Of course there’s always a good side. I have an office! Which may be temporary. I’m not even sure. But I will enjoy it while I’m there. The other exciting part is it’s more of a challenge than my most recent one duty.

I will continue to be the best me and not lose my fire like I was told by a co-worker a long time ago. It’s just tough going to work feeling like you’ve already been fired. My resume is always ready to go but I definitely need to start looking harder. I’d guess being fired doesn’t fall too far behind feeling fired. Talk about a time crunch.





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