Clean Up Woman

Through some hard lessons in life I have learned that a goal is really nothing without a working plan. For the last few years I’ve started working on next years goals 1-2 months prior to the end of the previous.  I think before I took on this method the wait would just give me anxiety. People especially on twitter slander the New Year’s Resolution movement that is not me in all. I embrace it with open arms but just earlier than most others. I look at it more like creating healthy habits and I believe that has helped me keep it going, whatever it may be.

I have not thought over my goals in detail for next year but I have a general idea of what I’d like to see in 2012.  A fresh canvas to make next year whatever I want it to be. But before I can paint the next 12 months of my future history I have to do a little house cleaning .

“Anything that stress me out has to go”

As much as I  like “DC” he’s just simply not giving me what I need. I really don’t know what’s up with him.  I offered for us to cut ties once before because I didn’t feel like he felt the same way about me as I did about him and my decision was overridden by him. So we continued. I think he’s a great guy but I don’t think he has anywhere to fit me in his life and these cracks are not working.  I need to be set free emotionally, make room for a man who doesn’t just like me but adores me and absolutely thinks it’s a problem to put anyone else before me. And before I can be readily available for a guy like that, I need to terminate this unclear dealing with “DC”. For a moment I’m sure it will feel like a breakup but I look forward to not stressing about when he’s going to call at least.

 ”Anything that distracts me has to go”

I guess I’ve been on twitter for about 2 years now and have threatened to shut the doors to my thoughts twice so far but this is the first time I actually deactivated my account. But how nice twitter gives you 30 days to officially deactivate the account. When I first moved to Cali twitter became my best friend with probably about 65k tweets to date. Before it helped soothe the loneliness before I made friends but now it’s just a black hole for my time. Not to mention it adds to my stress with “DC”. Out of sight out of mind; baby steps to breaking up *weeps*. But yes twitter feeds into my already bad habit of procrastinating and distracts me from things I should or could be doing. It’s real, I am no longer on twitter; you heard it here first.

“Anything that Annoy Me….has to go”

I like my buddy, often referred to as “Tour Guide” ,but lately he has been annoying the shit out of me.  My buddy is a drunk. He makes promises and don’t keep them, he’s a supreme gossiper, and when he’s lit he becomes bossy and rude as hell. It wasn’t until last night I thought to myself, “yeah we are going to have to limit the time we spend together” . It even seems like the more comfortable he is with you the more comfortable he is with bossing you around. It’s ridiculous and usually so is his behavior. I can’t do it anymore, last night was the last time.

I believe I have a hard coded zero tolerance policy for anything that makes me unhappy I’ve been operating this way for years and never have a problem knowing what and who to remove from my life. Sometime its very necessary, I probably have the OCD of life.

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