Slowly Committing? Maybe.

Over the past year through the dates and such only one guy has remained constant. Not to be confused with consistent because that he is not.  But through it all I’ve liked him the most I guess I could say and lately I’ve been acting weird.

First I noticed we  started  having minor disagreements.  That was a clear indication I actually cared enough to address whatever “it” was. And in maybe the last month or two there has been some its. Most of it is simply getting to know each other; simple growing pains. And the rest well I can say were 99 problems and guess what? They were all b*!$*#@.

On my end of house cleaning I  requested that  one guy not send me anymore pictures. Can you believe that? Yeah me either. But he took it well. He/We still casually flirt via text but nothing more. I am still a single woman until I am convinced otherwise. But last night took the cake. I went on a bike ride with a friend of mine who likes me but I’m just not interested. Even if “DC” didn’t have my attention I would not be interested in this guy romantically but lets continue. I almost killed myself  ramming the brakes trying not to miss “DC’s” call. It has been years that I have even rode a real bike and even when I did ride bikes I was pretty much a sheltered kid so I only rode my bike from pole to pole. No wonder construction paper was more interesting to me . But my phone rang and I was almost road kill. The guy I was with even joked and said “damn “DC” got you like that?”.   We stopped for a bite to eat and guess who calls? You think I didn’t answer?. Hell yes I did. I like him and  he makes me happy when he’s acting right. Still no flowers.

I’m trying to think at what point I stopped buying condoms. I have my pick and chooses with condoms and I trust mine before I trust anything from someone else’s stash. Studies show If I didn’t buy the condom 9/10 no sex will be involved. He lives miles and miles away and if it be with anyone I’d prefer it be with him and his baby blockers. And of the times so far that he has pissed me off I still hadn’t bought any just incase. But if he does act up and we end up no longer moving in a forward direction I did see some new condoms being advertised that I might like. I even mentioned them to him.

But for the most part I believe this “weirdness” that I’ve been experiencing are subtle hints of commitment.  Which is funny because it wasn’t until recently after I offered to call the quits and he didn’t accept that I realized,” hey, maybe this guy actually likes me and since I like him too maybe he deserves some level of commitment”.  I think these are good areas to start if ever considering a relationship. I use to think that commitment was validated with a verbal agreement. But from my own “weirdness” I have learned that commitment is an act of the heart not necessarily something I can control. And that’s both being and not being committed.

Go