My Parents Should Have Spanked My Butt

I was at the bottom of the family food chain coming in at number eight as the families baby girl. I didn’t catch spankings, but I did find myself in timeout often. In the corner in the red chair in the dark hallway of my father’s house. The same chair I sat in every morning to get my hair combed for school doubled as my enemy, the disciplinary tool for my smart mouth usually. I would spend a few moments away from the rest of the family until I got my act together to go back to harassing my siblings and claiming my parents as ONLY mine. I love my siblings for putting up with me.

I didn’t  get into much trouble but I was hella bratty. I had my own toys, my own room and was the boss of me, my daddy’s heart and wallet and my mother’s dinner menu. I was rarely told “no”.  And even when told no, it meant maybe to me. Thank goodness this type of discipline only made me a selfish kid and not societies ass ache with no guidance. I grew up to be a hard worker with a great personality , lots of friends and admires but I’ve done all of this according to my rules.  I’ve worked for more companies than years I’ve had on this earth. Some of that comes from my 2 jobs at a time rule from the age of 16 until a few years through college and also me working through temp services.  I’ve never had an attendance problem or any types of behavioral problems on my job ,except this one time this lady got out of line and well…I reacted to her actions and it ultimately kept me from getting a promotion. I’m usually rated either the best or one of the best employees, that’s always my goal in the workplace.  The problem is I don’t like for anyone to tell me nothing about nothing. Give me the assignment and It’s complete as instructed. But even if I were in the wrong I would have a serious issue with criticism and probably hand them a two weeks notice. I’ve done this before, basically letting them know if they didn’ t like the way I did things, maybe someone else should do it. I quit. Of course I would examine my finances before tooting and booting employers but it’s still not a good thing. Or is it? The good part is I have loads of experience and a pretty much clean track record in many industries. Really this whole discipline thing doesn’t affect me as much on a professional level as it does more damage on the personal end of things I recently discovered.

I pretty much say what I want and do what I want ignoring everybody’s rules (and sometimes feelings) including my own and this is what has led me to believe it’s my parents fault I lack discipline in pretty much every area of my life. This includes, finances, relationships, friendships,religious beliefs,  work environments, lust, etc. I don’t believe there is anything I can’t have, can’t do, and  can’t be which is a good thing but when I continued to break my own rules because of what I wanted at the moment raised some concern. After examining my finances especially, I’m starting to think either my parents should have been a little more strict on their little curly head brat in telling me “no” more often or my parents should have spanked my butt. I really have no other explanation for why when I shouldn’t spend certain monies I do, when I should be working out I don’t and when I do things I shouldn’t be doing, like flirting with peoples boyfriends at the hot tub  I do anyway all because it’s what I want at the moment. Why can’t I  take no for an answer even from myself ?. What do you guys think? Spare the Rod spoil the child at it’s finest? Am I just an adult version from when I was a kid. Is it too late to correct this? Probably. The very thought of telling myself “no” gives me anxiety, but I’ll work on it.

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